“Well, limbo is not a good place to be.” – Bill Joy
It is not uncommon to hold onto things/people/feelings that we know we should let go of. We know we will be happier, less stressed, more productive and positive but, instead, we hang on. Why?
For the most part it is due to the fear of the unknown. What would life be like without that thing/person/feeling weighing on us? Is it really weight? Am I just making drama? Maybe it is not that bad and, gosh, it could be worse without it. What if it is worse without it? Crap! Maybe I shouldn’t let go…….. As so goes the self justifications and our fear of change screaming at us to stay put because albeit frustrating and heartbreaking at times, it is and we know what it is and for some reason that in itself makes us feel safe even in recognizable unhappiness.
We remember when this thing/person/feeling we should let go of wasn’t all bad, maybe we could actually get back to that place. Does that place still exist? Did it ever really? So we still hang on…swirling in limbo in essence waiting for rock bottom to finally hit hoping things will change or we will change in a way that will make it better. Is it perseverance or simply denial? Is it never giving up or never waking up? Well, now what?
1. Take time to think/speak about things how they *really are/were. Do not sugarcoat it or remember it through rose colored glasses. Stop making excuses or taking blame. It takes two to tango, So by all means take your part but don’t take all of it. It is not all yours. We can convince ourselves of almost anything, especially when it comes to things/people/feelings.
2. Stick to your choices. Second guessing yourself is what got you into this situation in the first place. Constantly changing your mind is a sign that you are unsure and uneasy about it or yourself and/or your choices. This insecurity can cause you to overthink the hell out of any situation until you find yourself even more confused by what you already know.
3. Start/get something new or meet someone new. Distraction is the best cure for complacency and encourages us to see things/people/feelings in a new light from a different vantage point. Take for example: a new mower with all its bells, whistles and upgrades can easily shines a light on how little benefit the old mower that 3 out of 4 times refused to function properly actually had in your life. Just because something works every now and then doesn’t mean it is something you should hang onto when a new one will work all of the time and restore peace in your life.