“I am awesome” – Tucker Scott Arnold
Digging through the hall closet and I stumbled across these decks of used playing cards. of course, I immediately recognize them as card from Doernbecher. The casino always donated their used cards, hence the hole punched in the middle of them, and they always end up on the bingo cart. We played bingo on the tv once a week and the prize cart made its way around to each child in the hospital for a new toy.
In of themselves the message doesn’t make sense. “I am” scrawled in an 11-year-old’s handwriting on one box and “awesome” on the other. Together the message rang out. “I am awesome.” a powerful message tucked away in my hall closet.
What you may not know it that this 11 year old was battling a rare form of leukemia. One that no child had been reported as survived from. One that eventually took his life. This is so something Tucker would say. While cancer wore away his body it certainly didn’t prevent him from figuring out his worth. He was awesome and he was gonna say it.
I can’t recall if I had seen this note and simply overlooked its significance 6 years ago or if I had just forgotten about it. In a moment of doubt, I asked my oldest son to confirm for me it was indeed Tuck’s penmanship. He agreed it was. I knew it.
I share this with you all, as I was encouraged that no matter how hard life was for him, no matter how bleak the out come looked to be. Tucker never let his circumstances change the way he felt about himself. Life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to still be awesome. This is the lesson. The light bulb moment.
I know hardship is, well, hard. Doesn’t that go without saying? In hardships and trials we do truly discover what we are capable of and by golly, it is probably some pretty awesome things. I can’t imagine how tough our time in cancer treatment would have been if Tucker had hated on himself and believed he was a failure because his life was turned upside down by an incredible hardship.
Imagine how much braver you will feel facing your own hardships or trials when you know and believe that you have your own back and you believe you are awesome. Because you are.